


The Way Her Hair Frames Her Face

by FemmeslashFanatic (with_bleeding_hands)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual Rey (Star Wars), Bathing/Washing, F/F, F/M, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Force-Sensitive Rey, Hair Braiding, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Multi, POV Leia Organa, Rumors, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:57:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/with_bleeding_hands/pseuds/FemmeslashFanatic
Summary: I could talk about how I had this idea about young Leia hearing Jyn Erso’s speech and having an “oh no I’m gay” moment, but that totally took a backseat to me just wanting to write more Rey/Leia. I have no justification.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, yet another fucking Rey/Leia fic. Don’t ask what’s wrong with me. I don’t know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a Rey/Leia fic from Leia's POV and this happened.

I sensed Rey waiting at my door for a while, as if she were trying to get up the courage to knock. When it seemed like she was going to give up and walk away, I went to the door and opened it. I wanted the distraction; being alone with my thoughts wasn’t going well. I had to wipe away a few tears before opening the door. “Evening, Rey. Is everything all right?”

There was a reason I asked that; she was practically radiating nervousness. She seemed to calm a little when she saw me, though.

“Yes. Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

Rey stepped into my quarters and I shut the door behind her. To my surprise, she reached for me, wanting to be held. I wasn’t about to turn down a hug from Rey, so I took her in my arms. She was wearing her hair down, so I was able to place my hand on the back of her head and stroke her hair a little bit. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but there was something about Rey’s hair.

I was there when Jyn Erso gave the speech about rebellions being built on hope that became famous in the Rebellion and is now legendary in the Resistance. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her face. Not just her face, but the strands of hair that fell around it, accentuating her cheekbones and her sharp eyes. At the time, I told myself that the way I reacted to listening to her impassioned voice and watching her was just feeling inspired by the way her rebellious spirit matched mine. For a long time, I managed to convince myself of that.

And then there was Rey. Aside from her hair color, she didn’t look much like Jyn, and as for her hair, she wore three buns to Jyn’s one. (Funny, I used to wear two fairly often.) But those pieces of hair that frame her face…I don’t know…something about that sight drew my eyes and I don’t want to look away.

I had to admit it. Rey was beautiful.

It was funny how different and similar she and Jyn were. I sensed so much old bitterness in Jyn that was finally beginning to fall away, even if at the time, I had no idea how I was sensing it. Rey…she managed to maintain a certain optimism despite her meager circumstances, and only now was she beginning to hurt. I sensed what almost felt like an emotional open wound from her when she first stepped off the Millennium Falcon. I couldn’t help but hold her to me, hoping I could somehow stanch the psychic blood flow.

The thing was, I think Rey has noticed what I thought of her. She was rapidly becoming stronger with the Force, and that meant she could sense how I felt when I looked at her. I hoped she was here because she needed emotional support (and her friend Finn was unconscious, so I was the next best option) and not because she thought I wanted her here. And I did want her here. It felt good to have her holding me. It felt like nothing would ever take away the pain of sensing Han’s life snuffed out and knowing our son caused it, but the sharp edges of the pain softened when Rey had her arms around me.

“So, what is it you want?” I asked, sifting my fingers through her hair.

“Mmm,” she said absentmindedly. “I like when you touch my hair.”

I felt my cheeks grow hot. “But you didn’t come here so I could touch your hair.”

“Actually…I…” She held me tighter. “I sensed you wanting me close.”

I don’t think of myself as someone who blushes particularly often, but I was sure my face was an incredible shade of crimson. She wasn’t wrong, but were my feelings really so transparent? And what was wrong with me that I wanted her close? Her presence was comforting, but I should be feeling maternal towards her, not…whatever the hell was going on with me. Was it because I had just lost my husband and felt lonely? Han and I had been separated for years, but knowing there was no longer any hope of him coming home…

“I know you’re new to being able to sense people’s feelings so acutely, but the fact that you sense someone wanting something from you doesn’t mean you have to indulge it,” I said.

“What if I want to indulge it?” Rey asked me in a quiet voice.

I pressed my face into her shoulder. “Indulge what, exactly? What did you come here expecting?”

I felt Rey touch the back of my neck and couldn’t suppress a shudder. “From what I’ve seen, sex looks like it’s violent. But I don’t think that’s what you want from me. For it to be violent, I mean.”

Oh, _Maker._ I had tried not to let my thoughts stray in that direction—Rey is younger than my only biological child—but had apparently failed.

“I could never hurt you,” I said without thinking. “But, Rey…” 

Rey interrupted me by leaning down and touching her lips to my neck. There was absolutely nothing lustful about the touch. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone try so chastely to seduce me before. Words failed me for a moment while I processed the sensation of Rey’s soft lips on my skin, but when I got ahold of language again, I picked up my sentence where I had left off. “I can sense that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I am curious,” said Rey in a voice that was almost a whisper. “I think I would enjoy it. With you.”

I was at a loss for words. While I tried to think of what to say, Rey spoke up. “Can I kiss you?”

I swallowed. Did I want to kiss her? Absolutely. Did I think that it was a good idea? Hell, no. Although maybe Rey would kiss me, feel nothing, and realize she shouldn’t have come to my room. “Okay.”

I leaned back from our embrace and Rey tilted her head down to kiss me. I slid my hands into her hair. It was obvious that I was Rey’s first kiss; she was trying, but her kisses were chaste and clumsy. It took her a few moments to relax and get into the rhythm of it, but once she did, it was nice. And she didn’t have the usual beginner problem of not knowing what to do with her hands; she had one hand on my waist and the other hand slid from the back of my neck to the side, lightly running her thumbnail up and down my throat. I really, really like having my neck touched that way, and couldn’t help but wonder how she guessed to do that. 

The kiss came to a natural end and Rey touched her forehead to mine. “You’ve never kissed anyone before, have you?” I asked.

“No,” she admitted. “But I’m glad it was you.”

That made me feel a little better about kissing someone who was barely an adult. I brushed the back of one hand against her cheek. “Was it what you wanted?”

Rey smiled a little shyly. “It was harder than I thought it would be.”

“You were pretty good. You’ll get used to it.”

Rey linked her fingers behind my back. “So…I can sense that you want me…should I come to bed with you?”

I was fairly sure I knew what was going to happen now. We would take things slow, Rey would realize she didn’t want to continue, and maybe she would stay in my bed overnight for purely platonic closeness. I was not opposed to any of that.

But apparently she had to figure it out for herself that she didn’t want to sleep with me, so I took her hand and kissed it. “If you want,” I said, and she nodded. I moved to lead her to my bed, but instead of following me, she leaned down and kissed me hard. I was surprised at the difference between our first kiss and this one; she was a fast learner. Her hand was on my neck again, her thumbnail lightly stroking my skin. Seriously, how did she know to do that? Could she _sense_ that that was what I liked? For a moment, I almost regretted that whatever was happening probably wouldn’t lead to sex; being with someone who could sense what I like would be fun.

“So what now?” she murmured after she had kissed me for a while. “Should we lie down?”

“If you want,” I said, and she nodded. I could still sense her nervousness, but to my surprise, it wasn’t stopping her yet. I took her hands in mine and led her to my bed. I gestured for her to lie down, and she did, a little hesitantly. I lay next to her, reaching to caress her from shoulder to hip. Her eyes closed and she relaxed visibly. I edged closer and rested my forehead against hers, sliding my fingers through her hair and down her neck. Her hands made fists in the fabric of my nightshirt and she turned her head to kiss me. For someone who had never been kissed before, she liked kissing an awful lot. Not that I was complaining; she was getting better at it by the minute. I traced her (alarmingly protuberant) spine with one hand, not wanting to start putting my hands all over her too early, but it wasn’t long before she squirmed to try to get underneath me. I got up and leaned over her, keeping my weight off her, stroking her face for a moment before going back to kissing her.

“Leia?” she whispered. “Will you…will you kiss my neck?”

I was only too glad to. Rey had a gorgeous neck. I brushed the knuckles of one hand against her cheek while I trailed kisses from just below Rey’s ear to her shoulder. I tried using my teeth a little and she moaned, a noise that set my heart racing. Now I was really regretting that we probably wouldn’t end up having sex.

Or maybe we would; she wrapped her arms and legs around me, pulling me close. I’ve never had anyone’s legs around my waist before. I decided I liked it immensely. I gently closed my teeth over one of Rey’s collarbones and she gasped. “Wait.”

I backed off. I didn’t want to stop, but it was probably best to stop before things went any further.

“How am I going to get my clothes off if I’m holding you?”

Oh. Well.

“You may have to let go of me,” I answered. I knew I was smiling and I hoped she didn’t think I was mocking her; she was just so damn adorable.

“Could you undress me?”

I liked that idea. I very much liked that idea. “If that’s what you want.”

She nodded. I undid the first button on her pajama top, moving the cloth aside to expose her collarbones. I traced them with my fingertips; they were lovely, but her skin was sunken around them. How long had it been since she had enough to eat?

“Is something wrong?” Rey whispered.

“No,” I assured her. “Try to relax.”

She nodded and laid her head back down. I continued unbuttoning her shirt, waiting until I had finished with all the buttons to part the fabric, exposing her thin chest. I was caught between two warring impulses: one was to cover her with kisses and the other was to dress her again to drag her to the mess hall for a hearty meal. I shouldn’t have been looking at her body in such a way; I should have definitely chosen to tell her to get dressed and go have an extra helping of dinner.

But I chose the kisses. I leaned over her and kissed her shoulder and upper chest, giving her time to adjust to the feeling of this kind of contact before I started touching her breasts. I managed to put my weight on one of my arms and used my other hand to stroke her waist and hip. Rey wrapped her arms around me and I felt her legs press to my sides. 

My lips met the swell of one of her breasts and she gasped. If I couldn’t sense how much she was enjoying herself, I would have thought she wanted me to stop, but fortunately, I could tell how much she wanted me to continue. Her breasts were small and hard from lack of proper nutrition, and it made me afraid of hurting her. I closed my lips around one nipple, careful not to use my teeth. Rey moaned loudly, her fingers digging into my shoulders. Encouraged, I circled her nipple with the tip of my tongue. “Leia!” Rey cried, and I immediately knew that that sound of Rey saying my name would stay with me forever. 

I kept playing with her breasts, and while I normally like to bring my teeth into things more when I’m bed with someone, I didn’t try to be anything but extremely gentle. Gentleness wasn’t something I’d ever had to think about much with a lover before, but if Rey needed it, I could do it for her. Rey was very vocal in response, her moaning noises surprisingly beautiful.

“Leia?” she said in a voice that was almost a whimper, and I sat up. If she wanted to stop, I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Hearing her cry out for me had…affected me quite a bit, let’s say.

“What is it?”

“I don’t really know how this works…with another woman…”

Ah. “Why don’t we start with me using my fingers?”

Rey licked her lips. “Be gentle?”

I kissed her forehead. “Of course.”

I sat up and hooked my fingers under the waistband of her pajama pants, not pulling yet, just giving her the chance to undress herself if she wanted. She pushed on my hands impatiently, apparently deciding she liked me undressing her. With some help from her (mostly inelegant but cute squirming), I got Rey’s pajama pants off and moved my hands over her thin but strong thighs. She sat up and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me down on top of her again. “Stay close to me,” she whispered.

“That might be a little difficult, but I’ll try,” I said. “I can’t keep my weight on you if you want me to keep kissing you and touch you between your legs at the same time.”

“I’d like you to keep kissing me,” said Rey.

“I can do that,” I said, leaning down to give her the kisses she wanted. This time, instead of her hands gripping my shirt, I felt her palms on the skin of my lower back. Her hands were rough and callused, and felt amazing.

After I took a few seconds to adjust to the new sensation of Rey touching my skin (and enjoy it), I moved so my weight was off Rey’s hips and reached to stroke the inside of one of her thighs with the back of one hand. I felt her part her legs further for me and fought back a shudder. I thought back to listening to Jyn Erso’s speech and wondered how I managed to convince myself for so many years that I wasn’t interested in women. I cupped my palm against Rey’s core, and she was soaking wet. This time I couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran through me. “Rey, are you sure?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I want to know what it feels like.”

I carefully eased one finger into her. She was so tight I was glad I hadn’t tried two fingers, which is what I like. Rey let out a low, soft moan as I searched for the textured skin of her pleasure spot and massaged it slowly with my fingertip.

“How does that feel?” I asked. I may have been able to sense what she was feeling, and she was certainly enjoying it, but she wasn’t experiencing much pleasure.

“It’s good,” she sighed. I kept stroking her, wondering if she would enjoy it more if I could get two fingers into her, but convinced I would hurt her if I tried. Rey sighed and moaned and rocked her hips in rhythm with my caresses, but I felt like I could give her more. Her head was tilted back and she seemed to have forgotten that she wanted me to kiss her, so I moved my mouth to her chest and suckled gently at one of her nipples. She cried out my name again, and I felt a surge of pleasure from her, but I didn’t think she could reach orgasm unless I tried something else.

“Rey?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I try using my mouth?”

“You can do anything you want to me,” Rey sighed.

Well, okay then. I moved backward on the bed until I could get my head between her legs. I leaned down to firmly stroke her clit with my tongue, re-starting my caresses of her internal pleasure spot. Rey gasped and arched into the contact. “Oh, Leia!”

I tried, I really tried, and Rey was certainly enjoying herself, but maybe it was my inexperience with women that kept Rey from feeling as much pleasure as I wanted her to. I sat up halfway, ready to give up. “Rey, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to stop!” Rey panted. “Nothing to be sorry for!”

“Trust me, it can be much better than this,” I said grimly.

“Then I have an idea,” said Rey, still sounding out of breath. “Is there a way we could both feel pleasure at the same time? Then maybe I could sense what you were feeling.”

It was worth a shot. “Okay. Lie back down and we’ll try it.”

I couldn’t coordinate touching both myself and Rey, but I could still enthusiastically go down on her. It was actually much harder than I anticipated, but I knew what felt good for me, and judging from what I was sensing from her, it was working. The noises she had been making had done a number on me, and I barely had to stroke my clit for a few seconds before I felt pleasure building rapidly within me. Rey cried out my name again—I could never get sick of hearing that—and moaned, “I can feel something new!”

Damn right she could. I could sense her pleasure and she could sense mine, and it plunged us both into a dizzying spiral. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I wasn’t sure whether to put it down to being with a woman for the first time, being with another Force-sensitive person for the first time, or both. I quickly decided it didn’t matter; it was incredible. I was soon teetering on the edge of climax, but Rey’s pleasure seemed to be contingent on mine, and I resolved to hold on until Rey was satisfied.

Rey’s inner thighs quaked hard as her orgasm overcame her, and she let out a cry that sounded more surprised than anything else. She pushed her hands helplessly through my hair. I could have sworn I saw a burst of color in front of my eyes as I sensed her climax at the same time as I felt my own. I’m normally fairly quiet in bed, but I couldn’t help but gasp Rey’s name.

When I could move again—which took a few minutes—I crawled up to lie beside Rey with my head on her shoulder. I draped my arm across her and she touched the back of my hand, seemingly unable to move at all aside from that. “Wow,” Rey whispered.

“You were so good, Rey,” I sighed. I wasn’t one for showering people with compliments, but I meant it. 

“I didn’t really do anything,” she murmured.

“You had an especially good idea.” I kissed her shoulder. 

“Could I do more for you?” she asked, squeezing my hand.

“Maybe wait until I can feel my limbs,” I said, laughing. When was the last time I laughed? It felt good.

Rey turned over and began kissing my neck. “Do I have to wait?”

I laughed. I still sensed no sexual desire from her, but she was certainly enjoying all the intimacy. Maybe it was the novelty of so much closeness after years of being alone. Maybe she was just enjoying the sensations she felt from me. I had stopped caring why she wanted to be with me; what mattered was that we both had agreed to it and were enjoying the hell out of it.

Speaking of enjoying the hell out of it, if she wanted to keep going, I wasn’t about to stop her. I squirmed to get fully underneath her and wrapped my arms and legs around her. Rey continued kissing and nuzzling my neck, which felt amazing, and she worked one hand under my pajama shirt and cupped my waist, which also felt amazing. It was when she sat up to try to unbutton my shirt that I stopped her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me.

“I used to be young and beautiful like you, but I’m afraid that’s not the case anymore,” I said with what was probably a wry smile.

“I like your body,” Rey insisted.

“That’s sweet of you to say, but…”

She cut me off. “It’s not that I don’t desire you, Leia. It’s that I don’t…I don’t feel that way about anyone.”

I laughed, once. “Then what the hell are you doing in bed with me?”

She leaned over and kissed me. “Being very, very glad I was curious about sex.” Her hands went back to the buttons on my shirt. “I want to touch your skin. Your breasts. Please.”

The girl doesn’t mince words, I’ll give her that. Bracing myself for her to change her mind and tell me to put my clothes back on, I wrestled my pajama top off.

She was immediately all over me with her lips and her hands. So not changing her mind, then. Did I mention that her weathered hands felt incredible? Because they felt incredible. Her name slipped past my lips as her hands cradled my breasts and massaged carefully. Ordinarily I would tell my partner not to be so gentle, but with Rey…

“How does that feel?” she asked me.

“You can’t sense it?” I teased, and she looked a little surprised at the question.

“I can, I just…I like to hear you say it.”

I closed my eyes. “I like it.”

Apparently she wanted to try everything I had done for her, because she leaned down and fastened her mouth onto the tip of my left breast. Her hot, soft mouth felt so damn good. I slid my hands through her hair, fighting the impulse to lay my head back so I could look at her. Her brow was furrowed as if in concentration. Apparently wanting to pay my breasts equal attention, she switched to the right one. As she moved, I felt her work one hand underneath the elastic waistband of my pajama pants to brush my inner thigh; I moved my legs apart for her. Just like I had done, she asked for permission to put her fingers in me, which I gave, rather insistently. When she slowly moved two fingers into me, I felt tears sting my eyes. It took me a moment to realize why; she wasn’t hurting me, and I’m certainly not inexperienced. But something about having Rey inside me felt incredibly right in a way I had never felt before.

Unlike her, I can get off without sensing another’s pleasure, and she was just as quick a learner at sex as she had been at kissing. Her fingertips ran over my internal pleasure spot again and again until she successfully coaxed an orgasm from me. I breathed Rey’s name as the shudders that shook my body subsided.

She stroked my face and kissed me. So gentle. I hadn’t expected such tenderness from her, nor did I expect to enjoy it so much, but as I gathered Rey into my arms, I thought that there was nothing I would change about our encounter.

“Did I do it right?” she asked.

I kissed her hair. “Very much so.”

We settled down to sleep, not bothering to adjust our clothing. Even though both of us had been plenty satisfied, we were both still very much enjoying how it felt to lie close while half (or, in Rey’s case, completely) undressed. Rey still didn’t quite understand the necessity of showering, but she had discovered that she was very fond of how it felt, and she must have showered before she came to my room, because her skin still had that fresh-from-the-shower softness to it. If I hadn’t been so worn out, I would have covered her whole body with kisses again. As it was, I only had the energy to caress her back while I held her. Rey laid her head down on my chest, touching a small, sleepy kiss to each of my breasts. (She was so damn _cute._ )

“Can you sleep in that position?” I asked her.

“No,” she sighed. “I can’t even sleep on a mattress. They’re too soft. I’ve never slept next to someone before…”

“Or on top of someone,” I interjected; speaking of mattresses, she was draped over me as if I were one, using my chest as a pillow.

“…but I want to stay here as long as I can.” She turned her head and kissed the center of my chest. I felt a surge of affection for her and brushed her hair back from her face. It was damaged from her time living in a desert and badly needed a trim, but I didn’t care; it was hers.

“Leia?” she murmured.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For sleeping with you?”

She paused. “Is that what it’s called?” 

I wondered about some of the colloquialisms used on Jakku to refer to sex. I decided to wait to ask. “That’s one of the things it’s called.”

“Yes.” She tripped her fingers down my arm. “You feel so good.”

I laughed once. I seemed to be doing that quite a bit tonight, thanks to Rey. “I’m not doing anything.”

“I like being close to you,” Rey said. Earlier tonight, when she first came to my room, she seemed to be having trouble choosing the right words to talk about intimacy. She didn’t seem to be having that same difficulty anymore. “You’re so soft and warm.”

I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a little squeeze. “I hope you’re enjoying this because you’re with me, not just because you’re affection-deprived.”

“Of course I’m glad I’m with you!” Rey insisted. “I know…I know I’ve been hearing stories about you my whole life and that doesn’t change the fact that we just met, but I feel comfortable with you.”

I sat up enough to kiss the top of her head. “I was teasing.”

“Oh.” I felt her relax.

I didn’t address what she had said: despite us barely knowing each other (and Rey apparently not experiencing desire), she was comfortable enough to jump into bed with me. And it had been incredible. Why did being with her feel so natural? I had felt a connection with her since the moment I first laid eyes on her. Could it have something to do with the fact that she was so strong with the Force?

Rey dozed for a while, still using me as a pillow/mattress combination, until she got up with a whisper of “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to change positions to fall asleep.”

“That’s fine,” I told her. “You get comfortable.”

She leaned over me and gave me several long, gentle kisses. Rey was a strong girl with a courageous heart who had led a hardscrabble life, and yet she was a very gentle lover. Or maybe it was inexperience, and she would get bolder.

I hoped I would get to find out.

After she was done kissing me, she gazed at me for a little while, touching my face and hair. Eventually, she said, “I’m glad you were my first.”

I hugged her close to me, and she sighed happily and kissed my shoulder. “I am too.”

I had thought we were going to sleep now, but she kept nuzzling and kissing my shoulder and neck, and I thought that while I wouldn’t change anything that had passed between us so far, I could think of something I wanted to add. “Rey?”

“Yes?”

“Can you do something else for me?”

“Of course!” She leaned back to look at me. “What is it?”

“Will you bite my neck?”

To my surprise, she looked alarmed. “Wouldn’t that hurt?”

“Yes,” I said, “but a little pain is fine by me.”

I would have been able to tell she was nervous even if I couldn’t sense it. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she insisted.

I was reminded of when she said that from what she had seen in her life, sex seemed like it was violent, and that seemed to frighten her. I reached up and brushed the back of one hand down her face. “When I say a little pain is fine by me, I mean I actually like it. You wouldn’t be hurting me in the sense that you would be doing something I didn’t want. You would be doing something I asked you to do.”

Rey nodded. “I understand.” She leaned down and kissed my throat, draping herself over me like a blanket. She paused a little before sinking her teeth into the base of my neck. I cried out as she closed her mouth slightly and dragged her teeth over my flesh. She could _definitely_ sense what I like. Hypothesis confirmed. Oh, Maker, it felt _good._

“Just like that,” I said. 

She kissed me right over where I was sure I was going to have a spectacular bruise (but couldn’t bring myself to care) and then bit my shoulder hard. I wrapped my hands around hanks of her hair.

I had thought I would be satisfied after a few bites, but no, my body ached for her again. The girl could play me like a B’omarr pipe organ. “Rey…?”

“I know,” she murmured. She worked one hand under the cloth of my pajama pants and plunged two fingers into me. I stifled a moan and blinked back tears again. What was it about Rey’s slim, callused fingers that made me feel like they were made for me?

She kissed her way down to my chest and played skillfully with my breasts (quickest learner ever) while her fingers worked quickly and smoothly inside me. I had been briefly concerned that I wouldn’t be able to climax a third time, but Rey’s affections pushed me over the edge and I didn’t bother trying to stifle the noise I made.

“Thank you,” I sighed when I could form words again.

“You’re welcome!” She kissed me warmly and lay down beside me, caressing my hair.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against her shoulder. “Is there anything else you want me to do for you?” I licked my lips; I could still taste her. If she wanted me to go down on her again, I was definitely game. She might not get off on that alone, but she did seem to like it.

“No, I’m fine,” she assured me. “It was so intense. I think it might be too much for me to try again tonight.”

“It is a little overwhelming the first few times,” I agreed. I thought I could move again, so I turned onto my side and touched my forehead to Rey’s, reaching to rest one hand on her hip. “Do you think you can fall asleep like this?”

“Maybe,” she said. “I hope so.”

I had been able to sense everything that she felt, but I still wanted to hear her say it. “So how was your first time?”

“I loved it,” she sighed. “I always thought sex looked violent and messy. And ugly. But with us, it was…it was beautiful.”

I felt a blush creep up my face. I’m not a sappy person. Quite the opposite. In literally any other situation, I would have scoffed at the idea of sex being beautiful. It can be a hell of a lot of fun, certainly, but beautiful? That word just didn’t apply.

Except I was tempted to agree with Rey. I didn’t know how to say it, so I kissed her and hoped she understood. I thought she did. There were a few other things, though, that I did know how to say. "You were incredible, Rey. You have a beautiful body. And a pure heart." I kissed her forehead. "I love being with you."

"Thank you," she whispered, a smile coming to her face. I may not be good with compliments, but it's easier when I know the other person needs to hear them. And there was the fact that three mind-meltingly good orgasms had loosened my tongue.

We finally—I didn’t want to think about how late it had gotten—tried to sleep then. Rey ended up turning over onto her other side, and I fit myself against her back, my forehead resting against one of her shoulder blades. To my surprise, Rey was able to fall asleep with me holding her. I felt myself drifting off as well, fighting a little to stay awake because I wanted to enjoy the sensation of Rey’s bare skin against mine. I told myself to relax and sleep. Tomorrow, I could wake up next to Rey.

Waking up next to Rey. I liked that idea. I had woken up alone every morning for quite a few years now, and as much as I missed Han—and I would have to deal with my feelings about his death later, and the inevitable guilt of taking a new lover so soon afterward—I was ready for that particular pattern to end. Maybe the next morning I would wake up and look in the mirror to see the bite marks on my neck and think _you sick laser-brain, you fucked a 19-year-old girl_ , and I would feel sick to my stomach and never be able to look at Rey again. After all, when I had first let her kiss me, I had been sure we wouldn’t end up sleeping together, and things had…gotten out of hand before I could really process what was happening.

But maybe we would wake up and kiss each other good morning, and things would be hard after that, but we would still have each other.

I hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never understand why I ship this so hard, but I do, so...I hope whoever read this enjoyed it, I guess?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I write more Rey/Leia cuteness with background Stormpilot. And the entire Resistance base quietly freaks out over Leia having taken a new lover, except most people are hilariously wrong about who it is.

When my alarm rang, I sat up and stretched, thinking that I had had an extremely pleasant dream about Rey the night before. But the sight of her dark hair splayed over the pillow caught the corner of my eye, and I looked over to see her peacefully asleep, curled up and facing away from me. I got up as quietly as I could, not wanting to disturb her; I remembered her saying that she had trouble sleeping on a mattress, and if I woke her, she might not be able to get back to sleep.

I replaced my nightshirt (had I really let Rey see me topless? That seemed…unlikely) and walked to the bathroom. I brushed my hair—a fairly time-consuming operation—and my teeth. I was just considering the bite marks on my neck and trying to figure out what exactly my reaction was to those when I sensed Rey’s sleepy panic and heard her cry out. “Leia!”

I hastened back to my room, where Rey was sitting up in my bed, a frightened look on her face. I took her in my arms and she hugged me tightly. “Don’t leave,” she begged.

Well, that’s not what I expected to hear. But I sensed what she was feeling, maybe because she was telegraphing it so clearly: everyone else she had cared about had been taken from her somehow. Her friend Finn may still have been alive, but he was still in the infirmary. “I’m here,” I soothed, touching her hair. “I’m not going anywhere,” I added without thinking. Oh. Well, I supposed that answered my question regarding what I was going to do about a potential relationship with Rey. “I was just in the bathroom.”

“Promise?” Rey whispered.

“I promise,” I said. I wondered if she wasn’t completely awake. It didn’t matter; she needed comforting. “But I need to get dressed.”

Rey squeezed me hard for a moment, then said “okay” in a soft voice and let me go. I kissed her forehead before heading back to the bathroom to get dressed. I was just starting on braiding my hair when Rey came in, still as naked as the day she was born, and put her arms around me. “Morning,” she said drowsily, nuzzling my neck. The girl loved my neck. (Not that I’m complaining.)

“Good morning, Rey,” I said. I saw myself smiling helplessly in the mirror. “Would you mind waiting until I’m done fixing my hair?”

“Yes, I mind.” But she kissed my cheek and let me go. She hung back while I braided my hair, watching me curiously. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

“This hairstyle?” I eyed Rey’s hair, for perhaps a little too long. Well, maybe not. She probably liked me looking at her. “I don’t know if your hair is long enough for this, but I can teach you how to braid.”

“I love your hair,” said Rey in a slightly dreamy voice.

“Thank you.” I was smiling again. Rey seemed to have that effect. “I can teach you how to braid. You can practice on my hair. But I have duties now; I’ll have to teach you tonight.”

“Mmm. All right,” she said. The second I put the last pin in my hair, she wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed my shoulder. “Leia…”

“Yes?”

“Oh, nothing. I just like saying your name.”

I wanted to stay with Rey all morning, but I contented myself with kissing Rey over and over for a while. She had been wearing her pajamas when she came to my quarters last night, so I dressed her in a simple light gray robe that had always been too long for me. It looked lovely on her.

I sent Rey on her way with more kisses and a simple style of braid in her hair that had been common on Alderaan when I was young, then I went back to work. There was a lot to do to prepare for Rey’s mission to find my brother. As I went about my day, I noticed that I was sensing quite a bit of surprise—I would almost call it shock in some cases—from the surrounding members of the Resistance when they saw me. I had done a truly half-assed job trying to cover the marks on my neck because I really didn’t care who saw them, and I suppose I could have predicted the reactions I was getting. After all, the whole base knew my husband had been killed, and now I was clearly being intimate with someone else.

What I didn’t anticipate was how funny it was. Everyone was trying so damn hard to avoid staring, and most failed miserably (except for a few people who had more than two eyes; they were able to get away with it a bit more easily). I found myself constantly struggling not to laugh. I even went back to my quarters at lunch and pulled my collar down slightly, displaying Rey’s bite marks almost proudly. Hilariously, nobody seemed to suspect Rey even though we ate lunch together. Rey loved being affectionate with me, but I had warned her earlier that public displays of affection are discouraged on the Resistance base, so she just gave me a quick sideways hug when she sat down next to me. She was still stunned about being able to eat as much as she wanted and having so many options for what to eat, so she was also a bit distracted by that. She was so hungry that she was tempted to bolt down her food, and I had to coach her to slow down. She wasn’t able to finish everything on her plate and was worried about wasting it, but I assured her that the Resistance didn’t waste anything.

When it came to the food Rey didn’t finish, I was referring to composting, so that led to me showing her the garden and the hydroponics bay. With so little support from the Senate, we had to be as self-sufficient as possible, so we grow as much of our own food as possible; fortunately, D’Qar was well-suited for gardening. It turned out Rey had a thing for green. She wandered through the garden, shaking, carefully touching the various fruits and vegetables, sometimes plunging her fingers into the rich topsoil. She kept asking me what things were called; I knew most of the answers, but I ended up calling over the head gardener, Ahganya Lo, a Togruta nonbinary woman of unusually peaceful disposition for her species, who was only too glad to tell Rey the names of all of the plants, what planets they were from, and anything else Rey wanted to know. When Rey caught the scent of a T’iil flower, she said she liked it and asked Ahganya what it was; Ahganya turned to me with a small, sad smile and asked me if I were willing to explain.

“Rey,” I said, fighting to keep my voice steady, “this is T’iil. It’s from…my planet.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Alderaan,” she whispered. Of course she knew the story.

“It’s not edible, but the nectar is used to make a mixed drink called l’lahsh, and the leaves can be used to make tea.” I paused. “Would you like to try some of the tea?”

Rey nodded. “I would love some.”

A few minutes later, Rey and I were sitting just outside the garden, snacking on pingpears. I couldn’t help but watch Rey while she ate. She closed her eyes to take every bite and chewed slowly, savoring it. I thought with a pang of her protuberant collarbones and ribs, and wondered if there was any way I could make sure that Rey would have enough to eat for the rest of her life. I had finished my pear and Rey was halfway done with hers when one of the mess hall attendants brought us two hot steaming mugs of T’iil tea. Rey took the mug in two hands and sipped it carefully. “It’s lovely.”

“I’m glad you like it.” My hands shook a little bit as I brought the mug to my lips. I hadn’t had T’iil tea since I was younger than Rey, back when Alderaan still…existed. The taste brought back fewer memories than I thought it would, but Rey still must have sensed my trepidation or seen something on my face, because she reached for my hand. We finished our snack while holding hands. When we finished, Rey hugged me and said she would like to keep exploring the garden. I kept my arms around her for longer than I should have, a painfully familiar taste from my destroyed home still lingering on my tongue.

She kissed the top of my head. “Are you all right?”

“I will be,” I assured her. When I was about Rey’s age, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t cry over Alderaan, and had kept that promise for decades. About ten years ago, I broke that promise. I supposed that meant I could cry now, if I wanted. But I pushed those feelings aside, stepped back from Rey, and went back inside to return to my duties for the day.

I was with Poe and a few others, reviewing the star charts that showed where my brother had been hiding, when Rey came rushing up to us. “It’s Finn!” she cried, an expression of pure joy on her face. “He’s awake!”

Poe practically radiated an amount of joy that rivaled Rey’s. He gave me a quick glance and I nodded. “Go. We can finish this later.”

I watched Poe and Rey rush off to the infirmary, nearly knocking over several people in the process. I shook my head slightly and followed them. When I got to the infirmary, Poe and Rey were both holding Finn’s hands. Neither of them noticed me standing in the doorway. While I watched, they kissed his face and spoke to him in low, concerned voices.

I felt slightly chilled watching Rey. You didn’t have to be Force-sensitive to tell that she had feelings for him. She had come to my room the previous night out of mere curiosity. My hand moved unconsciously to my collar, tugging on it to try to conceal the bite marks that I had displayed without giving a damn earlier.

Finn could give the Resistance valuable intel on the First Order, but judging by the way Mhilbant Oulon, the Mon Calamari head doctor, shooed Rey and Poe away, Finn was in no shape to be fussed over, much less talk to me or any of my strategists. Poe looked shaken enough as he exited the infirmary that I told him to take a few minutes before returning to the main hub where we were looking at the star charts; Rey looked relieved.

“How is he?” I asked Rey as Poe shuffled off to collect himself.

“He has a long recovery ahead of him, but he’s doing about as well as can be expected,” said Rey.

“I can get a full report from Oulon and give you the details later,” I told her. I remembered when I first met Finn, how hell-bent he was on rescuing Rey. I could certainly see why; Rey was special. The bond between her and Finn was palpable.

I couldn’t help wondering where I fit in, now. Rey and Finn were obviously close. Certainly, nothing was stopping Rey from being with both me and Finn (and nothing was stopping Finn from being with both Rey and Poe, which I had a feeling would end up happening). But Rey only came to my room last night out of curiosity. And the bond she shared with Finn…

Rey noticed me woolgathering and took my hand. That knocked the worries straight out of my head; Rey and I shared a connection too. Rey had begged me not to abandon her; she certainly wasn’t about to do that to me.

The rest of the day passed fairly normally. Rey visited Finn after dinner—he still wasn’t up to leaving the infirmary, unfortunately, and Oulon insisted that he rest, so I didn’t get the chance to start asking him for information on the First Order—and then came to my quarters. As soon as the door had closed, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me hungrily. I felt her hands searching for the fastenings on my fatigues. I still sensed no desire from her, but there certainly was quite a bit of anticipation. I wouldn’t expect someone who is asexual to love intimacy so much, but then again, Rey had been so deprived of any human contact, it made sense that she would want the most contact possible. The fact that last night had been amazing couldn’t hurt, either.

“I have an idea,” Rey murmured as she unzipped my jumpsuit.

“Does it have to do with you in my bed?” I asked.

“Actually, it has to do with both of us naked somewhere else,” she said with a smile. “Could we take a bath together?”

I didn’t flinch, but I looked away. I still could barely believe I had let Rey see me topless the previous night. Taking a bath together would mean I would have to be completely undressed. I…wasn’t sure about that. A lot of Rey’s skin next to a lot of my skin sounded amazing in theory, especially accompanied by warm water, but in practice…

Rey touched my face. “What’s wrong?”

“You potentially seeing my naked ass,” I said truthfully.

She hugged me tightly. “You know I think you’re beautiful, right?”

I was exactly the right height to bury my face in the curve of her neck, so I did just that. “You say that now.”

Rey stepped back from our embrace and continued undressing me. She made an irritated noise when she found that I was wearing an undershirt beneath my jumpsuit, as if it were in her way. She peeled that off me too, leaving me standing in just my socks and undergarments, my jumpsuit pooled around my feet. I automatically went to cover myself with my hands. “Leia,” she said in a low, soothing voice, “you don’t have to hide from me.”

She had already seen me bare from the waist up, so I didn’t stop her when she unhooked my bra, lightly brushing her lips against my shoulder as she did so. (Rey, most innocent seductress ever.) Rey brushed soft, backhanded caresses across my collarbones, then lower. I leaned my head against her shoulder as she tenderly stroked my breasts. Her palms slid down my sides and she cupped her hands against the low of my back. My eyes closed. Oh, Maker, it felt good to have her touching me like that.

“I still say you’re beautiful.” Rey said.

“Okay, Rey,” I sighed. “I’ll take a bath with you. On one condition.”

“What is it?”

“I get to undress you too.”

Rey kissed me. “It’s a deal!”

My quarters had their own bathroom, so I led Rey there and unfortunately had to wait to undress her right away while I hunted down a spare cloth and towel for her, then ran the bath. With that done, I worked on unbuttoning the new jacket that had been among the new clothes I had scrounged up and given to Rey when she first arrived at the base. I covered her with kisses as I discarded the bothersome layers of clothing separating me and Rey. When her gorgeous body was completely uncovered, I finished undressing and we climbed into the tub. Rey, used to only scrubbing herself with sand once in a while, was far more interested in the pleasant sensations involved in bathing than she was in actually getting clean, so as soon as I had reclined to enjoy the warm water, she leaned over me and kissed me over and over. I sat up enough for her to climb into my lap, and I held her close and returned her kisses. We spent so long kissing that the water grew cool and I had to run some more.

Rey surveyed her fingertips, already starting to pucker from the long time she had spent in the water, with a smile. “I was scared the first time this happened to me,” she said ruefully. 

“Your fingers got pruney?”

“Yes. I didn’t know what was happening.”

I tried not to laugh because I didn’t want her to think I was mocking her. I dampened a cloth and lathered it with soap. “We should probably wash ourselves before you get any more pruney.”

“Could you wash me?” Rey asked hopefully.

I thought that was an excellent idea. I washed her hair first, whereupon I found out that Rey was absolutely transported by someone massaging her scalp. I spent longer than I needed to working the shampoo through her hair because she loved it so much—the look of bliss on her face was too adorable—then rinsed her hair and worked conditioner into it. I made a mental note to ask the base’s barber if Rey could get her hair trimmed before she left; her hair needed it. While the conditioner sat in Rey’s hair, I gently scrubbed her all over, enjoying being close to her in this novel way and laughing with her when she giggled as I washed her underarms. She was extremely thin from her years of not having enough nutrition, but she was also incredibly strong. Almost every inch of her was muscular. My heart raced a little as I moved the cloth over her beautifully defined abdominal muscles and her strong thighs. I chided myself for getting distracted by Rey’s beauty as I finished washing her and rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.

“I think I was doing it wrong,” Rey confessed as I began the time-consuming task of lathering up my hair with shampoo.

“Doing what wrong?”

“Bathing. I had the order wrong. I had been washing myself first.”

“There’s not really a wrong way to shower, Rey,” I said. “You have to figure out what works best for you. And my hair takes a long time to wash; you can get out and wait for me.”

“What if I don’t want to get out?” Rey edged closer and kissed my shoulder. “Can I help you wash your hair?”

“If you want to tackle washing my hair, you’re welcome to,” I said. Rey sank her fingers eagerly into my hair and tried her damndest to work the shampoo through the hair at my scalp, but was stymied by its thickness.

“You have so much hair!”

I laughed. “I tried to warn you.”

Rey kept trying valiantly to wash my hair, and I was certainly enjoying her hands on my scalp, but eventually she had to give up. I finished washing and conditioning my hair and was lathering up the cloth to wash myself when Rey stopped me. “Would you like me to wash you? I loved when you did it for me.”

I hesitated. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with that. “How about just my back?”

“Okay!”

Rey washed my back with the gentleness I have come to expect from her, doing it slowly and carefully, almost like she was afraid of hurting me. It felt wonderful. Rey liked to touch me as if my skin were made of something precious…if that made any sense.

“Rey?” I heard my voice before I realized I had spoken.

“Hmm?”

“You can wash all of me.”

“I’d love to,” Rey murmured, kissing my forehead. She then proceeded to do just as I asked, taking her time, enjoying it just as much as I had enjoyed doing it for her. It was surprisingly easy to relax and not worry about her judging my body. I may have thought of the Force as more of my brother’s…thing than mine, but I was grateful to be able to sense Rey’s feelings.

I didn’t need to sense that she spent an awfully long time passing the cloth over my chest. “What is it with you and my breasts?” I asked her, feeling playful.

She blushed, which made her even more adorable than usual. “I like them!” I was facing away from her; she dropped all pretense of continuing to wash me and hugged me from behind, cradling my breasts in her hands. “They’re so nice.”

“Why, thank you,” I said, laughing.

Rey kissed my hair and began to tease my nipples with her fingertips, which felt absolutely incredible, but if she was going to get me all worked up… “If you’re going to keep doing that, we should go back to my bed.”

“I would love to go to your bed,” Rey murmured.

I sat up, as much as I would have loved to have Rey keep touching me. “Let’s get dried off.” I had never actually had bathtub sex, and while I was open to the idea, I thought it might be a little advanced for someone as inexperienced as Rey. I dressed myself and Rey in bathrobes and helped towel-dry Rey’s hair as much as possible, then blow-dried it the rest of the way (she had never seen a hair dryer before) and braided it. I blow-dried my hair some of the way—drying it all the way takes longer than I wanted to wait—and braided it into a style that would keep it out of our way while Rey and I were being intimate. Rey got impatient and started taking my robe off.

“Rey…” I lay down to let her do what she wanted. She undid the tie on my robe and pushed the cloth aside, caressing my neck with her thumbnail the way I love, then replacing her nail with her teeth. She dug her teeth into my neck, the pain sifting through my brain and becoming pleasure. She gave me several just-hard-enough bites on my throat and shoulder before moving to kiss my chest. She covered my breasts with kisses, fastening her mouth to the tip of the left one and suckling hungrily. I arched off the bed and failed to fight back a moan. I wrapped my hands around her braid; as convenient as it was to have her hair out of our way, I wanted to grip hanks of her hair.

“I love making you feel good,” Rey sighed.

“Because you can sense it?”

“No…well, that, but I like hearing your voice.” Rey went back to pleasuring me. Oh, Maker, she made me feel so good. Out of all the tragedy that had struck recently, out of all the ugly, soul-rending blackness that threatened to engulf us and the galaxy, we had at least found each other. “Are you ready?” she asked me softly, the fingers of one of her hands sifting through my pubic hair. “Do you want me inside you?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

Two of Rey’s fingers slid into me. I felt that same spark I had felt the last time we were in bed together and cried out her name. She kissed my face. “Are you all right?”

I blinked and felt tears roll down my face. “Better than all right.”

Rey kissed me slowly, her fingers working inside me. She felt so damn good. It only took a few minutes for her to bring me to orgasm, and I almost wished she didn’t get me off so fast so I could enjoy it more. I didn’t have the words to describe how she made me feel, so I just held her and kissed her. I lay still with Rey in my arms until I could move, and then I got up and pinned her to the mattress and kissed her all over. “How are you so good at that?” I asked her between kisses.

“I don’t know,” she said, almost giggling. “But I’m glad I can make you feel good.”

I took one of her nipples into my mouth and she moaned. I played with her breasts carefully for a while until I could sense her wanting more. “Do you know what you want me to do for you?” I asked. “Same as last time?”

“Please,” Rey sighed.

I slid down on the bed and went down on her like there was no tomorrow. I’d had no idea giving a woman oral pleasure would be so much fun, but even if it hadn’t been, I would have been glad to do it for Rey. I swirled my tongue against her clit as I copied the motion on my own body with my fingers. I had forgotten how extraordinary it felt to experience pleasure at the same time as Rey; she was lost in bliss that was almost too much for her, and I could barely tell whether it was her feeling that because of her inexperience or me feeling that because she was my first Force-sensitive lover. Rey made a noise that was almost a scream as she came, her hands struggling to get a grip on my braided hair. The second I sensed Rey’s climax, so intense it was close to overwhelming, I cried out almost as loudly as Rey had. It felt almost like I blacked out for half a second. Both Rey and I had to be completely still for a few minutes, except I felt one of Rey’s hands caressing my hair. When I could move, I collapsed beside Rey, resting my head against her shoulder.

“Leia…” Her voice sounded almost like a prayer.

“I’m here.” I kissed her shoulder.

She laboriously turned on her side and kissed my hair, draping an arm over me. “I love how you make me feel.”

“I could say the same.” I squirmed to get closer to her and kissed the center of her chest. “Is there anything else you want me to do for you?”

“Yes.” She held me close. “Can I have your fingers inside me?”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t think you can come from that.”

“I still like it. I like feeling you inside me. I like it…emotionally. Not just physically.”

I thought back to how I had actually shed tears when Rey penetrated me a little while ago and decided that made perfect sense. “Okay. I can do that for you.” I eased Rey onto her back and moved my hands over her beautiful body. I leaned in to kiss her as I caressed her firm little breasts. 

“Leia,” she murmured between kisses, “I’m ready.” 

I reached between her thighs, where I felt her wetness supporting that last statement. Remembering how tight she had been last night, I moved one finger into her, and she raised her hips to push me in deeper. She whispered my name again and I shivered. What was it about Rey’s voice when she said my name?

“How does that feel?” I asked as I ran my fingertip over her internal pleasure spot. I had discovered that while I could sense what she was feeling, I still liked hearing her say it.

“It’s good,” she sighed. “But…can you try two fingers?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I insisted.

“Please?”

I couldn’t say no to her. I crossed my first two fingers tightly and pushed them slowly, slowly into Rey. Her inner walls squeezed my fingers, but I sensed a brief soupcon of pain from her and then only pleasure. “Oh, yes,” she moaned. “I love feeling you filling me up.”

And I loved hearing how she felt. I kept stroking her as gently as I could, and then a little faster when she began rocking her hips insistently, tacitly asking for more. I began to wonder if she would be able to orgasm from just me touching her this way.

It turned out the answer to that was no; as much as she liked my fingers in her, her feelings of pleasure faded and she asked me to stop. I leaned over and kissed her. “I hope you still enjoyed that.”

“Mm-hmm.” She pulled me close and laid her head against my chest. “One…what’s it called…orgasm is enough for me.”

“As long as you’re satisfied.” I ran my palm over her scalp, then her neck, then her back. She sighed happily.

“I love when you hold me and touch me.”

“I love holding you and touching you,” I said. I hoped one day I would be able to say sweet things to Rey without her making me come first.

“Mmm.” She turned her head slightly and kissed my skin. “I hope I can sleep like this.”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” I assured her. “I want you to be comfortable.”

Rey dozed in my arms as I caressed her back. “I think I like this as much as I like the sex,” she said sleepily.

“And by ‘this’, you mean naked cuddles?”

“Yes.” She traced an old scar near the center of my back with one hand. “I feel so close to you.”

“It is nice,” I mused. I took a deep breath. “You’re a special girl, Rey. I’m lucky to be with you.”

“Mmm.” She nuzzled closer to me. “Are you just going to compliment me every time we sleep together?”

“I hope so. You deserve all the compliments I can muster.”

I felt something drip onto my chest and realized… “Rey, are you crying?”

“Nobody has been so kind to me in years,” Rey whispered. “Except for Finn, but it’s different with him.”

“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” I asked. I had already sensed it, but it was something we had to discuss.

“Yes,” Rey whispered. “I do. We’re very close.”

“Do you think you would go to bed with him?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “You’re strong with the Force. There’s something about how…connected we are because of that that makes me comfortable with you. I care for Finn, but it’s…different with you. Not better or worse, but different.” Rey paused. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I know Finn is recovering, and…I’m trying to figure out how many more nights I’ll get to have you in my bed.”

“Wait…” Rey sat up suddenly, a look on her face that I might describe as “horrified”. “Are you saying I have to choose between you and Finn?”

I stroked her cheek. “No…not unless you think you’re the sort who can only be in one romantic relationship at a time.” I wondered how common polyamory was on Jakku. “There’s no rule saying you have to choose.”

Rey relaxed, but only a little. She lay back down and wrapped her arms around me tightly. “I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered. “I love being with you.”

I had said that to her last night, hadn’t I? I smiled. “Sometimes I wonder how you ended up so sweet after the life you’ve had.”

Rey buried her face in my chest again. (That girl and my breasts, I swear.) “You think I’m sweet?”

“You have a good soul,” I assured her. “You’re strong, definitely. You’ve had to be. But it hasn’t made you bitter. And I…admire that.” I paused. “And I can sense how strong with the Light you are.”

“Can we do this every night?” Rey murmured.

“The sex, the naked cuddles, or me complimenting you?”

“All of them.”

I sighed. I supposed it was never too late to pick up a new skill, and I wanted to be able to compliment Rey. I could learn. Telling her nice things while we were in bed was a start. “I like the sound of that.”

***

Rey had left new bite marks on my neck and shoulder. Not very many of them were visible when I was wearing my fatigues and vest, but they were visible enough that the base went quietly ballistic over the sight again. The curious stares trying in vain to figure out whether the new bite marks were actually fresh or all of them had come from the same night were particularly entertaining.

Just as entertaining was the fact that, somehow, nobody had figured out that Rey was my new lover. My quarters were in a more isolated part of the base—I wasn’t wild about separating myself physically from the rest of my people that way, but that was the way things had ended up as the base expanded—but I was still surprised that nobody had heard Rey’s screams of ecstasy coming from my quarters.

Then Rey came to me during midday chow with a giant smile on her face. “They think it’s Poe,” she whispered to me, clearly suppressing laughter. “I was just visiting Finn in the infirmary, and Poe told us he has already heard rumors that he’s the one sleeping with you.”

“Oh, Maker,” I said, nearly shaking from the effort not to burst into laughter. “Is he mortified?”

“Yes!” Rey giggled. “He thinks it’s…”

“…disrespectful,” I finished. “Hopefully he’ll come to appreciate how hilarious it is.”

“Maybe he will,” said Rey, “but one of the medical technicians walked through and saw Poe talking to me and Finn, and they shook their head and said ‘you’re a busy man, aren’t you?’ to Poe, and Poe just looked…well, like you said, mortified.”

I couldn’t hold back a snicker. “I would like to kiss you right now, but I’d also like to wait for the right moment when I can see everyone’s reactions.”

“I’d like to kiss you too,” said Rey, a little wistfully.

“Tonight, you can kiss me all you want,” I said in a low voice. Both Rey and I had chosen to eat rather late and there were few people around, so I thought our secret was probably safe.

It became increasingly funny to me just how safe our secret was. Rey had more hair to work with than I had expected after its trim, so I started braiding it every morning. She still didn’t have enough hair for some of the fancier hairstyles I knew how to pull off, but she was just happy to have me playing with her hair. Even with Rey walking around in fairly ornate braids, only a few Resistance members theorized that Rey was my new lover.

When Finn was feeling well enough, he sat down with me and several members of my intelligence network to give us as much information as he could on the First Order. The things he knew about their weapons and armor were especially useful, and I found myself almost praying that Finn’s help would give us a desperately needed edge in our fight against the First Order. If I stopped and thought about it too long, the future looked so bleak…

Finn was so enthusiastic about helping the Resistance it was almost precious. I could see why he and Rey got along so well. They held hands for most of the long hours Finn spent with my intelligence people. I couldn’t find it in my heart to be jealous. They were too perfect for each other, and I wasn’t afraid of losing Rey.

Finn started feeling well enough to participate in daily life on the base, and he could be frequently seen at chow with both Rey and Poe. One afternoon, Rey took the both of them through the hydroponics bay and garden; Finn was used to eating what was essentially processed nutrient-rich mush, and Poe had never actually seen the garden. It was only slightly obvious that the outing was a date. When Rey was lying in my arms that night, she told me about the stares the three of them had gotten and how she had witnessed a fierce and whispered (not quietly enough, apparently) argument between two mechanics about whether Poe could be sleeping with Finn and me or just Finn. 

Surprisingly, both mechanics were wrong. Finn had even less normal, healthy life experience than Rey, and apparently he didn’t feel ready to add sex to his limited range of experiences yet, whether it be with Poe or Rey. That was fine with me, seeing as it was fine with Rey. She didn’t seem particularly interested in sex with Finn; it was becoming clearer to me that she enjoyed sex with me so much because I desired her and she liked satisfying that. Whatever worked for her was fine with me.

Speaking of rumors about who was sleeping with whom, Poe’s name was still the most commonly bandied about when it came to discussing who my new lover was. Apparently Poe had come around to just how amusing it was that the entire base was wondering who I was taking to bed. He had started paying attention to the rumors and had even started discussing them with Finn and Rey. The other names being thrown around were Joph Seastriker—that was a slightly ludicrous notion, probably only brought up because he had been one of the founding members of the Resistance—and a female Twi’lek mechanic I had personally rescued from, let’s say, nonconsensual service to a First Order colonel. I was fairly impressed that the idea of me being interested in women hadn’t been ruled out.

I had been avoiding thinking about it, but Rey was leaving soon to seek out my brother. The day before she left, I held a security briefing. Finn would be sharing some crucial information about the First Order that I felt it was beneficial for everyone to know. As the Resistance members congregated in the central hub, Finn looked increasingly nervous, though he was obviously trying to steel himself. Poe stood at his side, offering tacit moral support and closeness. I didn’t have to be Force-sensitive to tell how much that was helping Finn, but he still wasn’t used to his voice having much legitimacy. I went over to him. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine, ma’am,” he said in a hoarse voice that belied his words.

I wanted to squeeze his shoulder, but I didn’t know if he had any negative associations with physical contact. Who knew what stormtroopers were put through?

Poe answered that hypothetical at least partially; he reached up and squeezed Finn’s shoulder the way I had been thinking about doing. Finn relaxed visibly. “You might want to get some water,” I advised Finn. “You’ll do fine.”

He nodded, still looking a bit ill. I went back to my position just as Rey came up to me. She slipped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to her, a gesture that was both playful and possessive. “Afternoon, Leia,” she murmured, loudly enough to let people hear that she wasn’t using my title, and kissed my cheek.

I would have given a truly staggering amount of money for a holo-capture of the expressions on the faces of the assembled people. “Hello, Rey,” I said calmly, not visibly reacting to how many open mouths I saw around the room. I saw one of my tacticians grab one of the newer pilots by the arm and hiss something that looked awfully like “I told you” into their ear. Interesting to know that at least a few people had had the right idea. Poe had heard that there were wagers happening regarding who I was sleeping with; I wondered if that tactician was about to rake it in.

Rey went to stand with Finn and Poe. I waited for the last few stragglers to arrive before calling the meeting to order and turning it over to Finn. He actually did okay. He started out a little shaky and still felt some trepidation at so many people listening to him and taking him seriously, but after he got going, he was able to give a cohesive, useful briefing on the tactics and equipment used by the stormtroopers. He stumbled at first when answering questions, but was able to get the hang of that, too. When the questions with merit ran out and Finn started conveying all the signs of being overwhelmed, I stepped in and cut the briefing off. Both Poe and Rey hugged Finn, and I walked over and told him he had done well.

That night was my last with Rey before she set out for Ahch-To. She greeted me at the door to my quarters with a warm kiss. “Evening, Rey,” I said. “I hope no one gave you a hard time for turning out to be the person I’m sleeping with.”

“A few people congratulated me,” said Rey with a small smile, her hands going to the fastenings on my fatigues. I had been wearing them because they were more fun for Rey to remove than my pajamas. I let out a long sigh as Rey held me close and kissed my neck. “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered.

I turned away from her and went to sit on my bed, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Rey…” my voice trembled.

Rey came to sit behind me and wrapped her arms around me. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

“I’m going to miss you too,” I got out, and then the tears I had been swallowing for days erupted. Rey held me close while I cried for my dead husband, for my son who was being consumed by the Dark Side, for my brother who I hadn’t heard from in years, and for how much I was going to miss Rey after what felt like a cruelly short taste of what it was like to be with her.

Rey braided my hair—I had taught her how, as I had said I would, and she had been practicing on my hair every night—then brought me my pajamas from my wardrobe. I changed into them and lay down. Rey joined me and covered us with the sheets. She stroked and kissed my hair. “I wish I could help,” she said.

Rey had laid down behind me, fitting her body to mine. I turned over and pressed my forehead to her shoulder. “I’m selfish,” I whispered.

“No! How could you say that?”

“I don’t want you to go,” I managed. “I shouldn’t have let you stay on D’Qar this long. It’s crucial that you find Luke. But Maker help me, I want you here.”

Rey nuzzled close to me and kissed my hair again. “I don’t want to leave either. I want to stay with you and Finn.” She paused. “I can sense your pain, and that I help ease it. I understand why you don’t want me to go.”

I sighed. “I suppose not wanting the person I take the most comfort from to leave doesn’t make me selfish. It would be selfish if I actually kept you here.”

“Leia?”

“Hmm?”

“How much will I be able to sense from you once I leave?”

I let out a long breath. “I don’t know. I don’t…well, I use the Force more often than I think I do. I don’t use it in the same way Luke does. I use it to read people and situations, especially when subterfuge is involved. And…I used to check on Han once in a while. I sensed…” I felt tears begin to sting my eyes again. “I sensed Han’s death. Without meaning to.”

“Can you sense Luke?”

“I think Luke is somehow blocking himself off from me. He’s alive—I know that much—but he doesn’t want to be found.” I felt tears leaving wet tracks down my cheeks.

Rey left more kisses on my hair, then my forehead. “So you think we might…be able to sense each other?”

“I…think so,” I said slowly. “I don’t know how much we’ll be able to sense from each other. Hopefully quite a bit, since we both are Force-sensitive. Maybe my brother can help you reach out to me. I know I’ll be thinking of you often.”

“I’ll be thinking of you too.” Rey reached under the fabric of my pajama top with the characteristic tenderness I have come to expect from her. I let her undress me. She draped herself over me and kissed me from my neck to my waist. It was more soothing than arousing, and I loved it.

I was going to miss her so much.

Rey took her own clothes off and gathered me into her arms again. The sensation of her warm, soft skin against mine was immensely comforting. “Would you like a backrub?” I asked her, suddenly realizing that I had never given Rey a back massage, despite having thought of doing it many times before. I suppose we had always been too busy pleasuring each other, and then been tired afterward.

“I would love a backrub from you.” Rey lay down on her stomach. I started with her shoulders, massaging slowly, and Rey sighed happily. I worked my hands over her shoulder blades and proceeded downward, and then when I reached the low of her back, I slid my hands up to her shoulders again and started over. I moved my hands over Rey’s beautifully muscled back until they ached. 

“How was that?”

“So good,” Rey sighed, turning over. “Can I return the favor?”

“I’d like that.” I lay down and Rey covered my back with kisses. It took her a while to stop kissing me and get to the massage, but it wasn’t as if I minded. When she eventually took her hands to my back, she proved to be just as quick a learner at backrubs as she was at sex. She worked knots out of my back that I hadn’t known were there, and she got some moaning noises out of me that would have been embarrassing if being with Rey didn’t make me so comfortable. 

We didn’t end up having sex that night. Neither of us felt like it. After Rey was done making me melt under her just-strong-enough touch, we lay close and tried to sleep. Neither of us slept well. At one point, I realized that Rey was trying to stay awake as much as I was, and I decided to sing to her. Alderaanian royalty were encouraged to pursue the arts, and I had had singing teachers when I was young. I could still carry a tune if I wanted to, though I didn’t think I had sung a full song since I used to sing Ben lullabies when he was tiny. I chose a folk song I had known since I was five.

“That’s pretty,” Rey whispered when I was done. “Can you teach me?”

“Well, we aren’t going to sleep, are we?” I sighed. “Sure.”

I sang the first two verses, line by line, and Rey sang each line back to me. Her singing voice was quite nice. I wondered if there was anything Rey’s voice did that I wouldn’t like.

I kissed her gently. “I like your voice.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I like yours.”

“I don’t think either of us wants to sleep,” I said grimly, “but we probably should.”

Rey decided to take that cue to kiss me goodnight, which she did multiple times. “Thank you, Leia. For everything.” 

“I should thank you too.” I gathered her as close to me as I could while we were both lying down. “You’ve been wonderful.” Of course it was on Rey’s last night at the Resistance base that I finally learned how to compliment her without her making me come first.

“You’ve been so kind to me.” Rey squirmed into a new position so she could kiss the marks she had left on my throat. “I hope one day we’ll be able to be together…for a long time.”

“Well, I’m used to long-distance,” I said, meaning to sound joking but sounding grim.

Rey kissed me again. “Hopefully we can always find each other through the Force.”

I gave her a quick squeeze. “I hope so too.”

I slept only a few hours and woke up before my alarm. I got up carefully, trying to not disturb Rey, and got dressed. I wanted to dress up. I wasn’t sure why; it just felt right. I picked out an ocean blue dress that I was very fond of but hadn’t had the chance to wear in a long time and zipped it up. I piled my hair up onto my head in a style that had never been my favorite, but no braids were involved, and I didn’t especially feel like wearing braids in my hair on the day Rey left. Not after I had been braiding Rey’s hair every morning.

Rey shambled in, rubbing her eyes, as I finished dabbing makeup on my lingering bite marks. Any stares I might get wouldn’t be funny today. “Morning,” said Rey groggily, clumsily stroking the back of my neck.

“Good morning, Rey.”

She looked at me in the mirror, blinked, then turned to face me for real. “You look beautiful!”

I blushed a little. “Thank you.” I gave her a quick once-over; she was completely naked. “So do you.”

Rey smiled sleepily. “You’re so nice to me.”

“Of course it’s the morning you’re leaving that I learn to compliment you without being in bed with you.”

Rey sidled up to me and kissed my forehead. “It’s cold. I’m going to get dressed.”

“All right.”

Rey came back in, fully dressed. I will never know how she gets ready so fast. “Will you do my hair?”

“Of course.”

I brushed Rey’s soft, dark hair to a gloss. After a few days of my conditioner in her hair at night, most of the damage from the years of desert living was gone, and the worst of it had been cut off anyway. I fixed Rey’s hair into the three buns she had worn when I first met her.

“No braids?” she asked me.

“Your hair is cute like this.” I stroked her cheek; she turned around and kissed me.

“Leia? I’m…I’m falling in love with you,” she murmured. “I know, I know I shouldn’t say it right before we’re going to be separated, I know it’s soon…”

I cupped my face in her hands and kissed her warmly. “You can say whatever you want.”

She hugged me hard and kissed the top of my head, careful not to muss my hair. “Leia, I know we’re about to be separated and it will be hard. But can we stay together? Please?”

“Of course, Rey.” I caressed her face. I no longer had any doubt about the veracity of what I was going to say. “You can always find me through the Force.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accept it. I love writing Rey/Leia. I am the worst.
> 
> Oh, and I wanted to put in something about Leia not actually being that much of a fan of the hairstyle she wore in the scene where she saw Rey off. Carrie Fisher (RIP) called it “the baboon ass” hairstyle. Carrie and Daisy also used to sing together behind the scenes of The Force Awakens, so I wanted to include something about Rey and Leia singing together because CUTE.
> 
> I also put in the line about Luke blocking himself off from Leia's Force sensitivity because otherwise how the chicken-fried fuck can Leia "My Grandfather Is Literally the Force" Organa not sense where her twin is?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse.


End file.
